...and thats why I thought a thread for some jokes might be in place.

I will start:

John want's to buy a brand new pair of pink socks but he ran out of money.
So he went to his father and asked if he could do something to earn some money.
His father responded:"You could try to repair the lawnmower."
And so John did but he still didn't have enough money.
So he went to his mother and asked her the same question he asked his father.
His mother responded:"Well, try to repair the television."
He did but still he hdid not have enough money so he went to see her sister and asked her the same question.
His sister responded:"Try to repair my computer."
This took a while but he did it.
Now he had enough money to buy the socks.
When he came back home and wanted to put on his socks, the lawnmower exploded and his father died.
He needed to dress in black for a month.
After that month he again wanted to put on his socks but at that moment...BOOOM the television explodes and his mother dies.
...a month in black...
Thereafter at the moment he wanted to put on his socks the computer explodes and his sister passed away.
Again a month in black...
After that month again when he wanted to put on his socks, somebody rings the doorbell.
John opens the door and sees a pingiun standing before him.

Now what does the pingiun say to John?








Nothing, pingiuns can't talk.



Amarthadan
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economic recession

er...I'm not sure what to make of this...funny in a weird way...have you had too much coffee?

seriously strange...maybe I'll get it in the morning...

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Brush licking is for better painters.

That's the point, I tell a whole story just for that stupid ending.The gag is probably better when you tell it to someone other than reading it.


Additions would be nice!!!

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"Mickey, my friend!"

[Not necessarily a joke, but it was very funny at the time I heard it]

Recently at a performance I overheard a mother say to her child, "No honey, that man's not in pain... he's playing the bagpipe."

And this joke, recently told to me by my 5 year old nephew...

"Knock, knock"
"Who's there?"
"Abe"
"Abe who?"
"Abe Lincoln, duhhh!"

Cheers

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Curunír
Please visit My Gallery

Alright, i'l put another one here:

There is a grand german army fully armed and ready for battle.
The inspector comes to check on them.
Suddenly...
HATSJIIIII!!!!!!!!
Immediatly the german inspector asks something like
"Wo hat da genischt?!"
Who sneezed there?!
Nobody answers and five men are killed.
Then again the inspecter asks, but with a louder voice:
"WO HAT DA GENISCHT?!"
Again nobody dares answer and ten men are killed.
Then again the inspector asks the question, yet nobody dares answer...
fifteen men are killed.

In the end there are only about twenty men left and the one who sneezed is still alive.
For the last time the inspector asks:
WO HAT DA GENISCHT?!
Finally the man is brave enough to say: "ich "
As a response the german inspector says: "Gesundheit!"

Well Ithink most people have an idea what gesundheit means.

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"Mickey, my friend!"

Haha! I know a bagpiper who'll find that funny.

/me sighs...sad, very sad !!!

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There are fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world

Heh, heres one that my brother told me. Completely lame, but still...I thought I should spread the love

Two sheep are standing at the side of the road eating grass.
One says 'bahh'
The other says 'damn it...thats what I was going to say'

It was indeed a very sad song that he was playing.

Come on Brian, you must know a few (relatively clean) jokes?

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Curunír
Please visit My Gallery

!!!LOVE IT!!!!!

Amarthadan

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"Mickey, my friend!"

Ok, here's one:

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

Because anywhere else, it would have been called the "teethbrush"!

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Gondor: 2339pts
Rohan: 1318pts
Dwarves: 2482pts
Elves: 1091pts
Mordor: 2305pts
Isengard: 1762pts
Moria: 1463pts
Evil Men: 381pts

Superb!

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"Mickey, my friend!"

All my gags are absurd, but I'm keeping the good ones as a backup:

What's the difference between an orange?








A motorcycle without doors.

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"Mickey, my friend!"

This is surely one of the most 'stupid' in a way i have ever heard...

What's the difference between a duck?

[spoiler]The two legs are the same, especially the left one.[/spoiler]

Okay, I don't get most of the jokes in this thread, but here's something we should all get.



If you've already seen this, I apologize, but I thought it worthy of a repeat.

JRB

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Respectfully,
Jonathan

Do what is right, love mercy, and walk humbly

Battle Companies

Did you know that sign is actually used in Australia?

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"Mickey, my friend!"

Well, this is actually a riddle rather than a joke and maybe something for the quiz but I'm posting it anyway:

When you get out of your house, on the streets, how big s the chance you'll encounter a person with more than the average amount of legs?

Is it very small or very big?

Amarthadan

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"Mickey, my friend!"

very small seems the obvious choise, but i guess it has to be wrong then

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"You tit! I soiled my armor, I was that scared!" - Sir Robin the Brave, Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail"

Very big! In fact it's virtually guaranteed. Because some people have fewer than two legs (and no one has more than two), it has to average out as less than two. Thus two is above average.

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The Tengwar Beacon

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"You tit! I soiled my armor, I was that scared!" - Sir Robin the Brave, Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail"