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do the champian's of erebor ( kili, fili ect) can they lead the erebor dwarfs?
No. They are part of an army of their own (the Dwarves and Bilbo) and cannot lead any troop.
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are spears better then bows in a army in more situations?
In my experience, once the lines clash, spears are better considering that good models cannot shot into combat. A spearmen can always be of use for someone.
However, is not just a question of Spears vs bow. Erebor lacks units. Durin's Folk has Khazad, Iron Guard, Vault Wardens and even rangers, for those who like them (I do not). Also, the only heroes worth their points in the Erebor list are Thorin and sometimes Dwalin (who is a glass hammer). Durin's Folk has no spears, but has more options.
Plus, you can always ally with a warband full of spearmen, but not a warband full of bowmen (there are, of course, exceptions.)
I once used Ghan and his woses with great success. They cannot be shot by archers when hidden behind the front rank due their rules, and they have blowpipes hitting on 3+, which is a nice touch. They are only S3 but got +1 to wound on orcs, uruks and goblin and their F3 doesn't really matter when the front line is F4 and cannot feint anyway.
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and what hero's would u pick for both sides if you choose one or the other?
Thorin is AMAZING. 3s in all the right places, can get to D8 and get a pony for cavalry bonus.
Everybody loves King's Champion. Is basically a captain with 1 more Attack,1 more strenght and 1 more fight with 2 banners. However Durin's Folk has Gimli and Balin, relatively cheap and reliable heroes with +1 to wound. Floi can remove special rules and I can hardly imagine a game where this skill wouldn't be of use. Dain is nice, with D9 and 3A with +1 to wound. Durin's comes with a warhorn to increase courage, 3A with Durin's Axe and terror, but is way too expensive, when we consider all the many things that can counter him at half his price.